GETTING UN'STUCK'

[MrBond]

Hi sandi,

thanks for the response. The biggest problem for me about my grandmother incident was two things:

1) Just about one year ago, my W's grandmother was in the hospital (also late 90's y.o.) and I was by her side the whole time, supporting her, praying for her, etc. And all the while she was messing around with her doctor.

2) My grandmother was in the Orthopedics unit which is the dept. that my W works in (different hospital). Rather than spending my concern on my grandmother, I found myself looking at the nurses that were coming in and seeing my W in their shoes. Then I kept looking at the doctors and wondered how many of them were sleeping with their nurses.

I felt so disgusted at having these thoughts that after I left the hospital, I just didn't want to go home to see her. I drove around and went to a bookstore to kill time and didn't get back till almost 12 midnight, thinking she and my daughters would be asleep.

Lo and behold when I got home, she was still awake with the kids. She was concerned that night though. Just not the following.

I do get what you say about her not giving an inch to show anything that might give me 'hope'. But for me, that ship has sailed. Right now it's either you care about me as you do any of your patients or human beings or not.

She was a very compassionate person and it's interesting to see that she's changed into this shell of the woman she once was. I pity her now more than anything.