OK...this sounds like a stupid title..but..something happened today. After court, I rushed over to my daughter's school for her end of the year class party. I arrived on time (well, the principal trapped me about the surgery I did on her associate).
The room was packed. There..in the middle..was my STBXW with D6 on her lap and her Aunt 'Lorelei' on one side...no seat saved for me. I waved cheerfully to my daughter and then...walked to the back of the room. I felt badly. 2 years ago, DB'ing, I would have sat there...dejected....allowing the little boy to stew.
NO MORE.
I walked over to the woman next to my daughter. "Excuse me...would you mind if I sat next to my daughter."
The woman moved over a seat and put her son on her lap.
I sat down.
My daughter immediately left my STBXW's lap and sat on mine...THRU THE ENTIRE PRESENTATION.
You see...this in not about ME taking my daughter away from my STBXW...nor is it about MY NEEDS....but..what I was able to recongnize is the following:
-at the age of 6, my daughter wants both parents....she cannot and DOES NOT want to choose -to expect my daughter to CHOOSE ME..to leave her mom.....is RIDICULOUS ON MY PART
I overstepped my STBXW's isolation of me...and provided my daughter with her father.
I MUST be getting better....lolol. I feel good today.
Court
Another wash. G-d bless the State of NY.
The motion was presented to the judge and my cross motion. He will read it and rule on it by paper. I arrived at the courthouse at 9AM...my atty came out at 11AM. Next court date is Aug. 3rd. The meat of what my L told me is that the fact that the LG finally reacted and agreed that counseling is needed...is a, well, plus for me...that it suggests that STBXW is causing damage. I caught her up on other stupid stuff that STBXW was doing...grandstanding in public (yelling at me) continuing to bring OUR issues up in front of the kids, her not allowing me to drive S8 to the ballpark, her nondiscussion of babysitting arrangements and how, on MY Wednesday with the kids, she has her parents meet the kids at the bus and shuttle them away thus causing me to lose homework time with them. Not much I can do.
I CAN call the school and insist that a biological parent get them off the bus..but...if I should have surgery, that would leave a head on confrontation between her parents and my sister who lives across the street. I won't put my sis in that position.
Grace...Bill...thanks for still being here for me through this whole mess. It is 3 years post bomb...1 1/2 years post filing....and I am STILL under the roof with this angry woman. Thanks for your support...ALL.
FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
