Newly separated...spouse left, 4th thread

[antlers]

Antlers, You are getting good advice. Here's my perspective - your W is telling you how the kids feel - stand up to that and ask her why she feels that way? You have recieved validation from you kids they want to go, they see your changes and she is not going so there won't be the tension she is forecasting.
This is the hard part about being friends and discussing things that you don't agree with. See if you can maybe shorten your trip to show you can bend and are taking some of your W's concerns into account.
Love yourself first - you probably could use the vacation and the time with your kids. Then without compromising your values show some compassion. This would be leading thru this opportunity. You can handle it.
Cheers

Hi coach.

This is the pitts! I know I'm getting good advice. The consensus seems to be that I should reconfigure my trip, and look at it as being the right thing to do...instead of...caving in! Do you agree that I should do that? I know how my son feels, and I know how my daughter felt. Now though, my daughter has been influenced. Should I tell her that my son wanted to go to Phoenix and my daughter 'did' want to go to California? Or should I just let it go and take the advice of the majority here? Agreed...since she isn't going, there won't be any fighting between she and I.
I do take her concerns into account, ever since this bad stuff started to happen...to no avail. I'm the only one who benefitted from it, by becoming more compassionate. It means nothing to her. I have to love myself by having compassion for myself too! I'm concerned about my hurt too...and I have the will to do something about it! I could use the vacation, and the time with our kids. Compassion...that's the majic word to me. You have to show it regardless of how others treat you! Would it really be 'leading' Coach?