Still Living Like Room Mates

[Phoenixdeux]

That's why professional help might be in order...you might get some ideas how to get unstuck.

[MrBond]

Have you tried flirting or any non-sexual touches, doing the 5 Love Language stuff? It's obvious if after a year, things aren't working so time to do something else.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

The non-sexual physical stuff didn't do it. I'll tell you, what helped was when H would take great care of the kids, handle some situation that had been looming, take charge, take some of the burden off of me, support me in some profound way (acknowledge me, do something to exhibit his confidence in me)...

A&K,

Being an old resident of the SSM board, this part caught my eye. Are you saying that when he would do this, you would ML with him?

Puppy

[Thinker]

Hi HHIF,

I am in a similar situation, struggling to redefine my R with my W.

Right now, I am focusing on making the platonic R as good as it can be, before trying to move back into romantic territory.

[theroadback]

Same here but I have pretty much given up on trying to have any kind of R relationship with my wife. at this point I am ok with friends

I do not mean sound negative or bitter but it seems the truth is that they just do not want to be with us period.

Makes me wonder what the point is sometimes, that is until I realize I am home with my kids....then I see the point.

But if kids were not an issue I am pretty sure most of us would walk I know I would. Nobody deserves to be treated like that there are too many other people out there ready to treat you right.

[MrBond]

Living like roommates does suck. But I truly believe that we can break out of that rut if we continue to try different things and see which ones get results. The DB way.

The thing is that many of us are so anxious to see an immediate change that we think something isn't working. In the book it says to wait 2 -3 weeks to see if you start getting results which for us is like a lifetime.

I'm just as impatient as the next guy, however if you would have asked me if my W would be joking with me in the same bed last year, I would have said you were crazy. But it works. We just need the patience and the planning to do both.