Hey guys...thanks..that's all I can say right now is thanks for stopping in, thanks for giving a crap.
Tim...I have not called the OM...close but have not. Maybe after this is all out. Does he know she is still having sex with me as he makes his way here....hot dirty sex?
Down...think the email shows on fb...if not I will catch up with you brother.
Planning on letting the sh!t hit the fan tonight, but just need to get last night off my chest...not very smart...not very strong...still not focused on me. The feelings for her are still very strong, and I am having trouble getting to point where I want to hear the whole truth..if I ever do.
Remember, when they left 2 weeks ago..things were smooth...I had no idea and she still has no idea that I know as much as I do. In my head, I still don't know where I'm heading with all this, what she will tell me and if there will be remorse, indifference...love..hate?
Funny..this past year with all the stories...now I finally understand...the fog.
Although, Puppy...I hear you buddy..I know what you are saying, but I still believe this is a fairly recent turn for her.
You know what this past year has been like, and the text and FB sitch is new for her...very new, and I still believe that's when it all started.
She has lied no doubt...my goal tonight is to get to a point where lying is not necessary for her. I want to be strong enough to listen to all the details and to not allow her to think that the door is going to be left open....even if, in my heart it may be...she can't be led to believe that.
Last night...and any comments are welcome really, but I have given myself the 2x4's...all night and continuously throughout the day today.
Long story..short....when I got home she was posting vacation pics and having a drink. I joined her, we chatted and caught up on the trip...she was calm and relaxed and seemed gald to be able tell me the stories and show me the photos.
More drinks...we moved closer and ended up right where we had been each time we were in this position for the past year...even closer...even crazier.
Daughter came home, we had snacks...off to bed to continue the session.
She went to sleep and I was restless...more snooping...got to her phone this time as she slept.
Something about an apartment search....and a question from a GF...when are you going to tell him..."he knows..doesn't want to do anything about it"..."said we will talk when I am ready"
A test to BF about his phone trouble with an XO at the end.
I went back to bed..heart pounding and she moved over to snuggle....and I held her.
As she was getting ready for work this morning I told her "Talk to me"...I can't, I have to get ready for work.
