First off, the gifts and sex could be guilt. Until it's out in the open, she may be more affectionate, until a point comes where she feels she's cheating on OM with you, then she'll back off.
I would confront her with what you know. But before you do, here's the possible result: She'll be remorseful. Maybe even say it was a mistake and that it was something that just happened. She may try to downplay it. She'll tell you it was just a symptom of a bad marriage (you probably should avoid the urge to point out how well things have been between you). Once the cat is out of the bag she'll have two options: leave you for him (or them) or give up these other guys. I'd be prepared for the former possibility. So, you could continue on as though this isn't happening until a time comes when the relationship with some other guy is strong enough to overcome her fear of leaving, or you could draw your line in the sand that you aren't going to be second to anyone. I'd take the latter stance.
You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with. Dr. Wayne Dyer
"hello beautiful im leavn on tues or weds three stops bfore XXXX caant wait to touch you n kiss All over You i love you honestly you sexy"
What the he11 was yot W responce to this and all the other advances that these men are making? Is she egging these men on or telling them to stop? I just can't see how someone can ML to you in the morning and then get a text like that from OM right after.
I'm really sorry about all of this Tim, but chitt like this pisses me off and shows me a lack of respect for you on her part. I have to agree with the post above that you need to confront her with this information and stop allowing her to walk all over you like this. NOBODY deserve to be treated like this and I am speaking to myself along with you.
Remember this is about you and not her and that you need to do what is best for you. IMHO she is not worring about what or how you feel since she knows you have access to her cell phone and text messages.
And lastly have you called this OM, not that I am saying you should or shouldn't just want to know if you did thats all.
I had been avoiding this place for a while, so didn't know. Bro, so sorry to hear about this turn of events. While I am sure it doesn't make you feel any better, it does sort of make things line up. Suddenly this craziness makes a lot more sense. Can you FB me your email address. My computer crashed but if I can find it, I might have some stuff for you to read, that might help you with your situation. Dam dam dam. Things seemed quiet on your end. I thought you were just sort of rolling along.
Not even sure what to say, but I am with you.
Me 44 She 46 S13 D9 M18 T23 3 years DB'ing Successfully busted
Hey guys...thanks..that's all I can say right now is thanks for stopping in, thanks for giving a crap.
Tim...I have not called the OM...close but have not. Maybe after this is all out. Does he know she is still having sex with me as he makes his way here....hot dirty sex?
Down...think the email shows on fb...if not I will catch up with you brother.
Planning on letting the sh!t hit the fan tonight, but just need to get last night off my chest...not very smart...not very strong...still not focused on me. The feelings for her are still very strong, and I am having trouble getting to point where I want to hear the whole truth..if I ever do.
Remember, when they left 2 weeks ago..things were smooth...I had no idea and she still has no idea that I know as much as I do. In my head, I still don't know where I'm heading with all this, what she will tell me and if there will be remorse, indifference...love..hate?
Funny..this past year with all the stories...now I finally understand...the fog.
Although, Puppy...I hear you buddy..I know what you are saying, but I still believe this is a fairly recent turn for her.
You know what this past year has been like, and the text and FB sitch is new for her...very new, and I still believe that's when it all started.
She has lied no doubt...my goal tonight is to get to a point where lying is not necessary for her. I want to be strong enough to listen to all the details and to not allow her to think that the door is going to be left open....even if, in my heart it may be...she can't be led to believe that.
Last night...and any comments are welcome really, but I have given myself the 2x4's...all night and continuously throughout the day today.
Long story..short....when I got home she was posting vacation pics and having a drink. I joined her, we chatted and caught up on the trip...she was calm and relaxed and seemed gald to be able tell me the stories and show me the photos.
More drinks...we moved closer and ended up right where we had been each time we were in this position for the past year...even closer...even crazier.
Daughter came home, we had snacks...off to bed to continue the session.
She went to sleep and I was restless...more snooping...got to her phone this time as she slept.
Something about an apartment search....and a question from a GF...when are you going to tell him..."he knows..doesn't want to do anything about it"..."said we will talk when I am ready"
A test to BF about his phone trouble with an XO at the end.
I went back to bed..heart pounding and she moved over to snuggle....and I held her.
As she was getting ready for work this morning I told her "Talk to me"...I can't, I have to get ready for work.
That post is all over the place. I'm sorry you're going through this.
No 2x4's, you're doing what you want to do.
Quote:
Does he know she is still having sex with me as he makes his way here....hot dirty sex?
I don't think it will matter to him if he's the one getting hot dirty sex this weekend.
I'm not going to beat around the bush, I'm worried about you.
Bottom line, figure out what you want to do. Figure out where your boundaries are, then figure out whether you're going to stick to them. Or continue to be knocked off balance while she does what she damn well pleases.
Me too. Finding that stuff is sickening and gets your heart pounding crazily. I can only think that she is trying to let you down easy...and it makes me even more nauseous to think that it's an act....or she really is conflicted. I know what I'd do if it were me...(and I did)...I tell her to get out. I'd confront her definitively with the threat of losing me.
You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with. Dr. Wayne Dyer
Something about an apartment search....and a question from a GF...when are you going to tell him..."he knows..doesn't want to do anything about it"..."said we will talk when I am ready"
It's easy giving advice when one is not living it but I think it is time to make a strong stand. Don't go apesh!t on her but sit her down, tell her what you know. Tell it is unacceptable. Tell her she gets you, or him but not both. This could wind up NOT going in your favor but a weak stance at this point, I think, will get you nothing, just more limbo. Now it is clear, that is what has been happening. I would bet the affairs have been going on for some time and she is just playing both sides of the fence, keeping you in limbo. As long as you stayed blind, she can get her outside stuff and keep you for security.
You can try to get to a point where lying is not necessary for her but don't think for a second you are going to get whole truth. Maybe not even half the truth.
DO THIS COMPLETELY SOBER!!!!!!
Do not let booze be involved in your talk.
Everything I have read says it's time to lay it down. She can have you or she can't but having both will not do.
OK weird observation, how can your wife come home and make love to you when she is looking elsewhere? My wife said the cheating woke her up, made her horny...she actually justified stuff saying I should be glad her interest in other guys makes her want to have sex with me...you might be in the same boat. Hey! your chocolate is in my peanut butter...
Me 44 She 46 S13 D9 M18 T23 3 years DB'ing Successfully busted
