Newly separated...spouse left, 4th thread

[AlexEN]

Then, help me out with that! How would I feel like I wasn't rolling over. We've always taken big trips. I want to stay calm and loving...value, respect, and compassion.

Antlers,

Could you break the trip into two parts and come back for a day in the middle? Make it an even more special trip for the kids by taking them one place for 5-7 days, come back home so they can see W for a day, then hit the road again? Have you really "caved" if you do this? No, you've acknowledged your roll in the snafu (for which you each bear some responsibility), figured out an alternative, shown W that you hear her (even if you don't agree), and, perhaps best of all, given the children an even better experience with you. Would that feel like rolling over?

You could even "position" it this way: "Say W, been thinkin' 'bout my plans. It wouldn't hurt for me to come back for a day in the middle of the trip... I have to _________ that day anyway. SO, I changed plans and we'll be back in town on June __; can I leave them with you that day? I’ll pick them up again at __ p.m. and we'll be on our way again. I know I'd miss them, too, if we were apart that long. I'm not looking forward to these absences myself, you know. But, I think that might work out for all of us."


-AlexEN