Gonna Get Me A Mojo Hand

[Greek]

[Remember, every WAS believes that they are the one:

That is, their sitch is special and different and they are the one in 5 that would be happy D'd, and they are also the 1 in 5 that would unhappy staying and doing the work.

Their kids are also the statistical anomaly - the 1 in 4 (or whatever it is) that are not adversely affected by the D.

It is not that they don't believe the statistics, it is just that they choose to see the other side of the statistics ("See, some people are happier D'd!!!") and apply it to themselves.

Have to disagree with you here. I'm certain that I - as a WAS - KNEW with every fiber of my being that I would not be happy divorced. I could barely even picture it - even as I walked out of the door. The WAS knows only that in the M - as it is - she/he is sad, lonely, frustrated, and being drowned. So...they reach for a lifesaver - and move out. It didn't make me happy to leave my home. It didn't give me hope to leave my home. It didn't make me proud to leave my home. It just kept my head above water so I could figure out what I should do with my life next.

I know I said or gave the impression to my H as I was leaving that it was what I wanted, I would make it, I didn't want to be M to him. Really? How much of what we say - the WAS and the LBS - when all of the trauma is unfolding - do we mean? And how much of it is fear and anger talking? If I took everything my H said to me as we were separating and believed it as HIS truth for all time, I never would have come home. My point is, both parties communicate positions in the fog of war that neither is sure of. In fact, I'll bet that pound for pound, most WAS are as scared, sad, angry and heartbroken as the LBS.