She wants to know if you love her? Well show her you do by absolutely NOT tolerating this. How can you love her and know she's out with OM?? I couldn't do that. I told my W that if she went through with D that it would be the absolute end of any relationship between us b/c I loved her too much to see her w/OM. Even God is a jealous God and won't share our affections with anything else. We're either all for Him or completely against Him. She can't see that you are OK with what she's done. She must know the magnitude of what she's done. She should receive from you righteous anger, b/c that's what she deserves. She should not be permitted to spend another night in your home. You ask what Jesus would do? He would in no uncertain terms let her know that what she's done is a sin that he won't permit her to continue in. However, if she repents and stops He would take her back. God never turns his back on us, and we are to love like he loves. You must set boundaries, love her from a distance, don't tolerate affair, and if she repents and returns to you, take her back. Remember, divorce was only permitted in the case of adultery b/c of a hardening of hearts, not b/c God didn't still think we should forgive and be reconciled. I think all of these things are the best chance you have at winning her back.
