If it had previously been discussed (spending time away from kids) and agreed upon, that would be one thing, but your wife may well feel that she is being blindsided with this vacation and also may feel that you are using the kids as bait/tool to 'hurt her'. I'm sure that's not what you are doing, but this is a beautiful chance for you to show that you can be compassionate to her and a different Antlers from the one she is used to.
How about you (to quote CityGirl) 'reconfigure the trip for a shorter period of time' and do some day trips or something. When serving up your compromise to her you could say something like:
"I've been thinking lots about this vacation thing and as much as I was really looking forward to the trip, I guess I didn't truly put myself in your shoes and think about how you would feel if they were away for 12 days. How about if <insert compromise here>? then see what she says. Then later on in another conversation maybe raise the topic of discussing how you both will approach vacations in future (eg how much notice to give the other parent, how long is okay etc).
Up until your last few posts you have been handling this well adn thinking about her feelings. You seem to be pissed (and I don't blame you) but don't slip back into what you say were your 'old ways'.
I wish my husband would open up like you have. How much of your feelings of remorse and validation have you shared with your wife?
Last edited by Purple; 06/09/0903:04 PM.
** Purple
As soon as you trust yourself you will know how to live. Goethe
