Divorce looming #14

[K4D]

Ok. I rectified that situation. My kids are at the rec center. Luckily it was only for a couple of hours. I am so glad yall informed me about that. I won't make that mistake again.

W was cool about it. But probably just one more knock against me.

CityGirl, I have started researching free psychiatric help in Dallas. I am looking on yahoo.

I have a beautiful lady that I met at a meetup group that wants to get together for coffee/tea on Sunday afternoon and just chat. She is very nice. That should be fun. We have chatted back and forth a bit, but just about general subjects. She is a reporter for a korean newspaper. Interesting.

Tonite I am going to a free poker tournament at buffalo wild wings. There is a poker league that goes to different places to play. That should be alot of fun as I have not been able to play in a while.

Wednesday night will be church. I'm not sure about the rest of my week. I'm going to try and get some reading in and probably put in a few extra hours at work. I will have to figure out this weekend as I get closer to it.

Kevin

[K4D]

Alright. I am off to my poker tournament. Wish me luck. Hey, at least its me starting to get a life. I love playing poker. And this is free poker where you win prizes. Its not filler time for me. Thats a positive.

Kevin

[jaguilar]

You don't have to explain, just do it.

Good Luck!

[K4D]

Well, the poker tournament that my W told me about got canceled on Monday nights because they don't have enough people to play on Monday nights. But there is one tomorrow night that I will be going to.

So... here goes... W invited me to dinner with her and the kids. SO I WENT. And we talked and laughed and spent a good hour and a half enjoying everything. Then she asked if I would come do a seafood boil next sunday since she couldn't this past sunday since she was sick. Then she said she wanted all of us to go to The Great Wolf Lodge for a weekend as a family which is a nice hotel with an indoor water park and other fun things to do for the kids.

Now I know what yall have been saying. Say no to everything. Have something else going on. She acknowledged that I have been busy alot lately and even thanked me for taking the kids last night since she knew I probably had plans. The truth is I didn't. But I let her think I did. When we left dinner I told her I had plans tonite and needed to head out. She told me thats great.

Here is my thing. Other than the frusturating conversation regarding me and her mom, things have really been improving between us. In my opinion, this is huge progress compared to the past 9 months. I haven't had any R talk with her at all. She has even sent me other poker sights with groups that I can join because she knows I like to play. She is starting to lighten up over all. This has to be progress right? And again, she let the D get dismissed among all this. I must be doing something right for her to be starting to change her attitude towards me lately. Maybe its just that she doesn't feel pressure anymore with us being in 2 separate places.

Tonite she even made the kids clean their room and the living room at my apartment when she came by to get their stuff. I was here so I said hi for a moment and then left out the door to go to the poker tournament that was supposed to be happening. I just told them to lock up before they left.

Overall things are changing in some aspect. I'm not saying they are heading towards a R level or anything. But things are starting to turn in some ways with out interactions. She is starting to feel more comfortable and at ease around me again.

I didn't mind coming home tonite for a change. I thought it would be nice to get some sleep tonite. D7 tends to follow me around during the night if I switch where I am sleeping.

Anyways, it is all interesting. But I am forming my own life. And I do love poker. So now I have something to do that I enjoy during the week and it allows me to meet other people as well. That with church and then some time to myself. Things are going ok for the time being.

Kevin

[mnt_dreams]

She acknowledged that I have been busy alot lately and even thanked me for taking the kids last night since she knew I probably had plans. The truth is I didn't. But I let her think I did. When we left dinner I told her I had plans tonite and needed to head out. She told me thats great.

Sounds like she's noticing some subtle changes... so you know what you have to do, right? Answer: Keep doing it - keep busy, and if you're not busy, act 'as if'. Good job looking for some things to do for yourself. Keeps you busy, and you might just have fun!

[volleydog]

Then she asked if I would come do a seafood boil next sunday since she couldn't this past sunday since she was sick. Then she said she wanted all of us to go to The Great Wolf Lodge for a weekend as a family which is a nice hotel with an indoor water park and other fun things to do for the kids.

I THINK this is good news...A family weekend at a hotel is great but it is sort of confusing to me based on your posts. Remember to take it slow and don't get too excited. Keep letting her throw out the invites, don't reciprocate just yet.

Don't let this stop you from seeking counseling!

[K4D]

I know. But I did take it as a good sign.

I called the court house this morning because they had told me to call back Wednesday to find out if the divorce had been officially dismissed. They said it was scheduled to be dismissed June 4th, but the judge had not officially signed the order yet and the person that could tell me officially is not in today. So another day of waiting in limbo to see officially for sure.

I had a friend come over after dinner last night and we played poker and then blokus. Was fun. Tonite I am planning on going to a poker tournament that shouldn't be canceled. I guess there just isn't enough people to do the tournaments on Monday nights. I don't think a whole lot happens on Monday nights in general. I know it was always a night we wanted to stay home and relax.

What I don't continue to get is W thanking me for watching the kids on her night. Like it is a burden to me. She truly doesn't get that they come first to me and are more important than anything else. She just doesn't get that. I'd take them full time if I could. I asked her if we could switch on when we take them in the middle of the week from Wednesday night to Thursday night and she said she already had plans. I said ok. No biggie. But its just interesting to me that her plans are more important than the kids. Its almost like a burden to her in a way. She really enjoys her single time. Where as I really enjoy my kids and my family. It just seems like something is not right there. She doesn't ever really call them during the week when they are with me. I'm not sure why. Maybe she just forgets because she is caught up in whatever she is doing.

But all in all things seem to be getting to a much friendlier level. This morning she called me and asked if I needed more contact lenses ordered since we always order them together in one package. I said yes. She said she would take care of it. I said ok and thanks.

Its a strange situation as of late. But I am hoping it is small baby steps back to an eventual reconcilation with time. There are no I love you's or hugs or kisses or anything like that. But it would be way way to soon to expect anything in that direction right now.

I think she is starting to see some changes in me when we are around each other. Kids are at the rec center today by the way. I won't make that mistake again. She had them last night and tonite and then I get them back tomorrow night over night so I am looking forward to that again. I always look forward to seeing them.

I don't understand any of the latest reactions, but I just take them as positives.

Kevin

[K4D]

Oh apparently she tells me that she still carries her computer all around the house no matter what she is doing so she can chat online. I asked her what tv shows she is watching these days since she used to like to watch a bunch of different things. She named off a few but said she doesn't really pay attention because she is talking on the computer.

I can't compete with those online relationships. That I know. But I can be calm and cool every time I am in front of her and I am managing to do that. As far as she knows I am busy every night and now I am actually trying to slow that down a bit and spend a little more time at home in the evenings. But I am not going to skip out on my poker tournaments.

It was hard getting up this morning again and not having the kids there. Thats always hard the next day. But having them midweek is easier than going the entire week without seeing them.

I'm hungry.

Well, back to the daily grind.

Kevin

[volleydog]

Kevin that was almost a positive post from you...WHY

What I don't continue to get is W thanking me for watching the kids on her night. Like it is a burden to me. She truly doesn't get that they come first to me and are more important than anything else. She just doesn't get that. I'd take them full time if I could. I asked her if we could switch on when we take them in the middle of the week from Wednesday night to Thursday night and she said she already had plans. I said ok. No biggie. But its just interesting to me that her plans are more important than the kids. Its almost like a burden to her in a way. She really enjoys her single time. Where as I really enjoy my kids and my family. It just seems like something is not right there. She doesn't ever really call them during the week when they are with me. I'm not sure why. Maybe she just forgets because she is caught up in whatever she is doing.

WHY would you judge her like this? She has plans that DOESN'T mean your kids aren't important to her, really shame on you for even thinking that. There should be times when you can't take the kids because you have plans, that doesn't make the plans more important AT ALL...

[aliveandkicking]

Why are we talking about this woman??? Kevin, you better focus on you or you were lose her and I mean really lose her for good.