A new thread, a new outlook.....

[Can it work]

Thanks for your reposnse PM,

In fact, do a 180. Act as if you couldn't care less if she was there or not. You will NOT be thinking of her on her birthday. I'd say, don't even buy her a card as this small and innocent gesture could be blown out of all proportions by the pursued party. In fact, don't acknowledge her birthday in any way, no 'Happy Birthday' or anything. Just take Weeman out. It's Father's Day, that's all you need to think about. PULL WAY BACK!

I will acknowledge her birthday PM because that's who I am. I'll be getting her a present and a card from Wee Man anyway so I can't just ignore the fact. It will only be an ordinary card she gets from me without any reference to the fact she's my W or any love and kisses in the inside. I will take your advice on not asking her what she's doing or showing any interest in that fact though. I'll wish her a happy birthday because I'm a polite person and I'd do the same for anyone. That is going to be the last time I ask her out though.

One thing from my visit last night which could be positive is that when I told her that I'd come past at the same time tomorrow night (about 6pm) she told me that I could come earlier if I wanted. As for the walking, she has been doing a lot of walking lately when she doesn't have Wee Man so she'll just be seeing me there as an opportunity to continue what she's been doing anyway. I don't honestly think it's a reflection on her feelings towards me.

What is your gut feeling? Why do you think she doesn't want you to see him so much? Because SHE doesn't want to see you so often? Because she thinks you will reduce your child support payments? What do you think her arguments are and plan a verbal reason when the subject comes up.

My gut feeling? I think she doesn't want me to see Wee Man more often because it means she'll see him less often. That's how I honestly see it. She's not looking forward to spending 4 nights without him this weekend and I believe it's genuinely because she's going to miss him so much. She even made a comment last night about her walking by saying that she likes to go out and walk a lot when he's not there because she hates being in the house without him. As for my visitation rights, I know it has to be in the best interests of Wee Man whatever we decide. Me having 50% of the time when I'm working full time would not be fair on him. At the moment I think we are working it fairly. It's just the time I'm having taken away because of this weekend is getting to me.

I'm also beginning to get the impression that she may feel as though she's missing out by not being at the birthday party with me and Wee Man this weekend. A feeling I'm only too used to after feeling left out during her family gatherings. This can only be a good thing as it is going to make her start to see that the grass isn't greener.

We can but hope.

Kev