Ouch. Your W needs space and some time to heal. Her anger is still raw, and she won't be able to see past it until she sees consistent better behavior from you (I'm saying this based on your comments about how you used to be.)
I would also take the comments about what the kids want seriously. I wouldn't force them to go on this vacation, assuming they'll have fun once you all get there. If they are dreading it, I would take the pressure off. They need time to grow warmer feelings and trust in you. Let them come to you more, and use your time with them doing local activities that are fun. I don't think your W would lie about your D's feelings, and I wouldn't take your S without your D unless he feels strongly about going. I wouldn't assume anything about their feelings, and I would open the door for them by offering an alternate plan for that vacation time, such as a fun-filled itinerary with a bunch of local activities.
It's going to take time to win them all over. You can definitely do this, but you must be patient, give them plenty of breathing room, and let them lean in toward you. Pressure off.
Your W, in her current state, probably isn't doing you any favors in their eyes. So, it will be extra important that your actions and behavior with the kids reinforce your true intentions. No anger, no outbursts with W... Just be a great, calm, patient Dad who listens and understands his kids.
