Thanks for the responses. I just took a long drive. I called a friend who I thought was going to blast me for allowing this but it was such a relief when she told me to not be so hard on myself.
I mean, my kids have been missing him and are begging him to sleep over and he wont stick to his plan and pins it on me...I did the best I could.
However, I have to really look at this. Now, I am not the only one getting crumbs, so are they. It is a bit perverse. I would rather they know when they are going to see him and stop with this spontaneous, wild ride kind of interaction.
As for the guest house, it would be so much like having him live here. Can I live with him coming home at all hours? I doubt it.
We will need to have a conversation (ooooh scary, right?) and come up with a real plan that we stick to.
For now, I am happy that my little guys are warm and feeling the love of sleeping with their dad. It is hard for me but ok.
The worst of this is that I know he wants this to some degree, he is just so drawn to the other...
If I didn't have this site to vent on, I don't know what I'd do. I'm ok.
Gonna have to work up some mojo in the morning too...weird.
I really need to love him for who he is and stop judging him. He just may not be able to be my spouse.
