I am sorry about the answer you got from your W about Father’s day. It could be too soon and she is not ready to take that step. The first one is always the hardest one. It could be as hard on her as it is on you. You did real well on backing off. Spending time with your son is just as important, if not more important, as spending time with the W.
I had the same feels as you have now many times. I know how hard it is on you. I did not have a child(s) involved, but I know that it would be even harder than it was. I took it in stride and move on with GAL and improving my positive out look on my own life. That is all you can do at this moment in time.
Do not give up. Keep your head up, do not gravel or peruse. Go on with your life. It is hard to do. I took a basic motorcycle-driving course. It was something I wanted to do for me, but my excitement was subdue some what, because I could not keep my mind off of my failing R. I made it through and started bought a bike and started riding. I started having finding out that each time I went out on a road trip my thoughts of my R were not in the forefront of my mind. It was always in the back of my mind, but it was getting easier to actually enjoy myself. That then started to improve my out look on my life. Which was seen in my step, my eyes, my attitude and the way I felt about myself. It was a good thing.
That then scared me as well; I still want to still fight for my M. So I used it as another tool to use in my fight towards reconciliation. It sound weird, I know, but the better I felt about myself the stronger I got in my overall stich. It was contagious. She saw the new me and like what she saw. “OR” at least that what it appeared to do.
Each STICH is deterrent, but the same. Hang in there. Keep your eye on the green. Stay away from the water traps, but if you go in, one just swim out, die off and start over. You have to get up one more time than you get knock down.
