I guess for me its hard to advise exactly because you and I are in totally different places. I have been separated for 18 months and my H has been having an affair for that entire time.
It is now up to me to decline or accept the legal separation and the *only* way I will deal with him anymore is in a polite business like way. I wont ever be rude or ugly to him but I deal with him because I have to, not because I want to. As long as I feel good about how I speak with my H that is all that matters.
And all that I posted in my previous post was about the WAS (your W) and not the LBS (you).
Your situation is still quite fresh so I guess your approach might need to be softer. But, I still stick to the fact that boundaries must be present. It is one thing to validate, listen and be the "safe place" for the WAS to turn. Its another thing to coddle and accept bad, rude, disrespectful and dictative behavior.
I see there is a difference of opinion here and that is great - its how we learn and brainstorm but I dont find stating the facts to be patronizing. I dont know your W and do not know if she is versed in things such as Skype or webcams hence the reason I offered the suggestion.
I tend to get wordy, its just my nature. Collaborative editing is always a good thing!
