Update: Busy weekend. We've contracted to buy a townhome and sell our house. H is a bit stressed b/c there are no guarantees this home thing will all work out. Also stress because he doesn't know if we'll be happy..I think a lot has to do with H getting over being 'dumped' and re-structuring the idea of what the future was/is going to be like... We're still talking a lot, every once in -awhile I hear an "i love you" but usually in repsonse to me saying it first. Lots of hand holding literally and figuratively... This piecing stuff isn't a cake-walk-that's for sure...I'm guessing I'm not alone in wishing there was that hollywood movie ending where the spouse comes home and says he wishes he'd never left and I'm the only one...blahblahblah...but thats not the reality, at least not mine. I am happy he's home. Things are better a bit each day..but its very slow and I still don't feel like he's "picked" me. He makes no promises, no pledges, just " I hope this works out".. thats where we are now..
M44 H46 T21 Married 16y D14 D12 Bomb 12/08(EA), (PA/Separation)1/09 to 5/09 Home/MC 5/09 to 12/09 Leaves 12/09 Files for Divorce Divorce final 6/30/10.
K One day at a time sounds hopweful but H probably still needs to work it through so it may still be bumpy and difficult..good new is home remember for your sanity continue GAL, be postive upbeat and hopeful but keep expectations check so dont forget about you..if you give all your energy to him and the M you will not eb able to continue IC would also be helpful
peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
Update: More ups and downs. H still says the problems that were in our relationship before he moved out are still here. We don't see MC until tomorrow. He says he thinks about OW everyday-mostly with anger and confusion about what happened but sometimes misses her. His therapist says he needs to have closure. This last week there have been more "bumps" than before and I suspect H may be in that last phase of MLC and not really out of the tunnel completely. Definitely issues with aging-had his birthday recently and got "down" about getting older...
So I'm not sure we're far out of the woods yet which is pretty scary as we're trying to sell our house and downsize as a family...
M44 H46 T21 Married 16y D14 D12 Bomb 12/08(EA), (PA/Separation)1/09 to 5/09 Home/MC 5/09 to 12/09 Leaves 12/09 Files for Divorce Divorce final 6/30/10.
Update: More rollercoaster riding. H is off antidepressants(hopefully will restart after his appointment tomorrow) and is definitely in a depression. Hates his life but realizes its him(not me), but still..hates his life... Is bored most of the time which my therapist says usually is depression...no interest in things... He gets very discouraged when we don't communicate well.
H had a realization the other day that the OW might have had a past as a prostitute. To tell you the truth alot of the weird things she said and did, this scenario makes alot of sense...it's really upset H and he's a bit obsessed trying to figure out if his hunch is correct...
So there is no smooth sailing here. H is still somehwere in the depression tunnel if not MLC tunnel...
M44 H46 T21 Married 16y D14 D12 Bomb 12/08(EA), (PA/Separation)1/09 to 5/09 Home/MC 5/09 to 12/09 Leaves 12/09 Files for Divorce Divorce final 6/30/10.
