Agh! He's detached completely!

[IWillSaveOurMarr]

Montana- Thanks for your compassion and for sharing your story. It does sound like we have a lot in common, unfortunatley.

As I said to Kimmie Lee, I agree with you both that I need to use EXTREME LRT and "black out" for a bit. I've been doing this more and more lately and it's starting to feel normal. I've been forcing myself to go out to anything and everything, from guided tours of the main public library (goregous) to talks about health care, to events hosted by the local meetup.com group for women my age, just to get out and about. Both of your posts certainly reinforce that I need to keep doing this more and more.

While I would like a child, my anxiety about it has gone down ever since I discussed it with my brother, a scientist. They tried the "natural way" for a year with no results...but then started charting her waking oral temperature and within a month, they concieved. Now, my first nephew ever is going to be born September 10th! After hearing this, and wanting to see if my body was doing what is supposed to be doing (ovulating) I found the free website fertility friend . com (no spaces) and started learning more about the whole process in much more depth. Now I am relieved to know, with 3 months worth of data thus far, that my body is working A-OK and I should be able to concieve when I want. I just had planned that it would be with my husband because he would make an excellent father, and of course, I love him. FF has free mini classes that only take a few minutes for a few days to view so you learn the basics (far more than I'd ever thought about before), then you grab a digital thermometer or a basal one (just has 1 more decimal place than a digital one), put it by your bedside, and set an alarm for the same time every morning. First thing, take your temp and write it down on a calendar. I enter the #'s in once a week now, but used to do it every day cause it was cool to see the patterns emerging!

Ok, sorry for the rambling, but I'm obviously a big fan of that website, and it's really eased my own concerns about this big unknown of conception in the future, so I thought I'd share it.

I'm sorry, I don't know what the R & D is that I'm supposed to be stopping: Raging and Drama? Yes, if that's it then I agree wholeheartedly.

He refuses to go to any more therapy sessions, although I'd love to go with him. Our MC has kind of fired us, sending me off with a hug, and offering to help if I call, but that's it. I think she figures that he's so checked out nothing will get through to him now. Another reason I need to stop raging and the anger, so his threat level can go down. Plus, I scare myself when I get that mad. I'd much rather work it out on the exercise machines than fight with my H.

So, in summary, I'm going to do what I can do, which is continue to GAL and "black out" with him because of all the interesting things I'm doing, and appear happy and relaxed in his presence, even if we don't exchange words.

He doens't actively say he loves me to my face, but he's said it repeatedly in our MC sessions, so I know he still feels that way about me, and I him.

Montana, I'm sorry to hear that you too are suffering through this hard time. your kind message made me feel less alone, and for that I'm always going to feel grateful. Plus, it's always good to remind oneself of being a strong women, especailly when we LBS' can feel so otherwise powerless at times. Take care, and keep in touch!