he was back, i think

[mdoodles]

its so not ok that he cheats on me, and i have let him know this and he knows it without me saying.

for so long, i did not know, i think he thought he would come home and i would be none the wiser.

backfired.

and then when i did find out, it hurt, but i had him back home. i certainly let him have it, like he had never seen, but i had him back and i felt i could learn to forgive.

but that was last year and he left again.

and once he left, we started working our way back to eachother. and during this past year, he tried to make me believe things with her were over.

which brings us to 2 months ago, when he did come back home and we opened our business, attempting to leave the past behind us.

backfired again.

i know i have done everything i can, that this realyl isnt about me, its about him.

he needs to be strong enough to go through with no contact with her, strong enough to admit his faults and strong enough to work things through at home.

do i think it would be easier if she up and left him for good? yes.

but it ultimately will not solve the problems.

right now, im laying low in terms of relationship talk, being upbeat in his presence and on the phone.

im being me. thats all i can do.