You have to learn to ignore them. They are like two year olds having a teething temper tantrum. The less you buy into their drama, the better. It's hard when you are look are the person you married to and they are acting out in a foreign behavior.
They are moody, they don't like anything or anyone and you can't please them no matter how hard you try. What do you do? Treat them as a roommate who is having a bad day and just go on about your business. When you do this, this allows them time to fume and get it out of their systems.
It's very difficult when they are at home acting like this, but you can do it, if you just remember, they are acting out and this is all part of the growing up stage that we all went through a while ago. Unfortuantely, they didn't complete that part of growing up and now they have to.
Good luck!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
