I have spent a couple of hours debating with myself about your sitch....difficult today for obvious reasons, but....
Thing is, IC and AA sponsor tells H what he needs to do, he listens, doesn't like but has to accept. Hard one that for an alcoholic...agree Volley?....You on the other hand should be, in his eyes, the comforting one, the one that tells him he is ok and everything will be great.
what he doesn't realise yet, and I stress yet, is that you have suffered too. That is an awful demon in his head that he cannot face. The fact that he has caused the one that he loves and who loves him to be repellant. Any addict will find that hard to deal with.
so...what he does is to apportion blame and project feelings. what you do about that is totally up to you. How strong you are and hwo much you really want things to work.
I am sorry to pile more pressure on you Kass, but that's how it is. Can you be there through all this, can you support by being tough?. Hard questions, but you need to be honest to yourself with the answers.
The easy way out would to be to blame the A and tell everyone what a ass he is. Is that what you feel like?
I did say, many weeks ago that things will not be easy, well here is one of many hard parts....I also agree with others when they say that H and his mentors (IC and AA sponsor) have only ONE side of the story. The sponsor will have been there before and hopefully be a little more impartial, the IC, less so.
Think long and hard Kass, is it worth it?...if it is, then for both your sakes, come have a dance with me and forget your woes for a weekend...cleanse your mind....if not, plan for you.
