Second jobs are tricky. The immediate cash flow often appears to be a boost, but if you average it out over the year with the pair-wise increase in your tax burden and the lost-time it's not always clear it's the answer.
I agree that a second job is not the solution to my cash woes. Maybe it would provide some social time but I've got stronger priorities.
"My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand." Thich Nhat Hanh
Bustin' through single track with roots, rocks, and Devil's Club is a good way to clear the mind...and make the body ache.
I visited p-doc today but didn't have a lot to talk about. Baseline mood seems to be OK with some allowances for what's going on. Last week was harsh but that was life, not bad biology. No side effects. This med seems to be working. I discussed the sleep thing a little - likely situational . I'll try out some samples.
W emailed. S7 got an evite to a birthday party this weekend so she read it to him. His response; "Make sure you tell Dad because that's on his day."
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As human animals, this whole thing about splitting up our clans, mates, and offspring is pretty f- d up. We weren't meant to live this way.
"My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand." Thich Nhat Hanh
The sleep thing gets better. Seriously, once I really digested that whole notion of accepting you are already D, I started to sleep more peacefully.
I have always thought if you're afraid of something, take it to the worst case scenario in your mind and make peace with it...at its worst, it is still manageable.
The fear is what terrorizes us. When you know you will be ok, you will sleep.
I can't decide whether I should still wear my ring. I told myself earlier, I would wear it until the gavel came down but I don't know...
+ Shows I'm still married (if just on paper) + Shows W and others I'm still hopeful. + Shows I'm not interested in dating or meeting others.
- Feels fraudulent. Yeah, I'm married but only on paper.
? I just don't know about the whole detaching thing. This is a big reminder... ? I'm not sure W would wear her's if she still had it (she lost it about two years ago).
Last edited by orangedog; 06/09/0906:02 PM.
"My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand." Thich Nhat Hanh
I don't think you would be as torn on this matter if you knew what outcome you wanted. Start there... Think about what you want for your future, with or without your W. Once you have the bigger picture in place, everything else will likely fall into place.
I took mine off and I regret it now (not the biggest deal) but it is way too symbolic and weird to put it back on now. I said I wouldn't take it off for as long as I'm married and I allowed H's actions to impact mine. Again, not the end of the world but I would rather have just left it alone.
Do what is true for you. I couldn't deal with identifying myself as H's wife while he was galavanting around as a single guy...then, he turned around and told people I took my ring off as if I was ending the M...whateva.
Think about what you want for your future, with or without your W.
The with or without is so hard to pin down when the scenarios are so vastly different. I find it very challenging to envision any future that is not completely different logistically if we stay together vs. D. How do you do that?
