I posted this on the other thread where you said you were having trouble coming up with a plan, I wanted to RP it here incase you didn't go back to check...
The first day after H told me he wanted to separate (a week ago today), I had trouble really coming up with a plan. I figured we were going to be in limbo until we (he) decided one way or the other. I was scared. I talked to him about everything that was on MY mind all day, and he listened... But I vented to some friends over email and he found it the next day and got mad at me
Anyways, starting that afternoon I put my own plan into action. Everything I was doing in regards to how I reacted to and treated H, I stopped. -No more checking his phone records or bank account -No more calling him throughout the day, unless he called me first -No more forcing physical affection -No more forcing conversation about our relationship -No hysterics - I cried a little on Monday, but I haven't cried since then.
I just started putting that energy back into me. -Buying myself cute clothes to wear when I go out with my friends. Even cute underwear even though nobody's going to see it -Getting my hair cut and colored -Doing my nails -Making plans with my friends -Filling up my calendar, keeping busy in general -Having fun with my DD instead of focusing so much on getting everything clean and keeping up around the house.
It's all been one day at a time, and some other questions I ask myself before acting/reacting are:
What do I have to gain by doing XXX? What do I have to lose by doing XXX?
