you are funny that you cannot change at 42!!! She was not willing to accept blame today because she is not feeling HEARD.

You said yourself that you were each trying to make each other see your side. My H did the same thing - when he first dropped the bomb, he was remorseful. Then as time went on, he justified & rationalized his behavior. This made me angry so I would justify MY side of things which led to MORE ANGER on his part.

I'm telling you, validate your wife, let her know she has been HEARD. Do not argue with her. Just think about a time when you were mad at someone & felt you had every right to be mad. If they were to give you "excuses" (which is what your wife thinks you are making), you would only get more defensive. Now if that person said - I see your point, I'm sorry you feel this way. You can let your guard down & relax.

It's not natural to do this, but it will help your sitch.

Me 36, Him 33
M 11yrs, T 15yrs
S 8, D 7
ILYBINILWY - 1/09
H moves out 10/09
D to be final SOON I HOPE!