I read your thread and it amazes me how steadfast LBS can be! I don't know that I could wait for a man for four years or longer......but then maybe none of us "know" until we are put to the test. I have read that MLC takes up to five years for some to pull out of the fog. How horrible for everyone involved! You are the only one that can decide if you believe your H is worth the wait or not. I'll have to admit that when I first began reading, I was not seeing him in a very favorable light. I did, however, see you as being a strong woman. I gathered by how you described your life that you live fairly quiet and what some people would call a "simple" lifestyle. Nothing wrong with that......in fact, that is my lifestyle, too!
Have you ever felt drawn to another man in all this time? I noticed that you mentioned a couple of girlfriends, but what about mixed company? Do you have friends who are married? Do you have relatives nearby or is it basically you and the kids?
You seem to be contented and making it financially fine without your H. When you talked about the OW and the things she had bought for him, I had to wonder if he was truly contributing to her finances or was it him who was getting the better end of the deal. I would think she would be getting tired of the set-up by now if he is not making life easier financially and not offering marriage. Who knows what the OW is getting out of their R, but she must be getting something or she would not continue to allow him to stay.
You said that you had a savings for the first time. That tells me that he must have been the one that did not take care with the money. Do you think it would go back to the way it was before he left.....if he returned? Guess nobody would know until it happen.
I don't really know what to say to you other than ask you if you think he is "worth" the wait? Only you can make that decision. As I have put it to so many others......how valuable is he to you? You seem to be happy without him, but would you be more happy if he returned? Were you more happy when the two of you lived together before or are you more happy now?
That is how I would have to decide which way to go.
Take care, Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
