That's why he gets so mad when you don't react "right"! He is losing control of you, and it drives him crazy! When he pushes your buttons, you are supposed to get upset! IF you are having fun, and he isn't the sourse, he is not controlling you!
So, you are stopping your side of the dance! I think that is really important. You can't control what he is going to do, but you are "doing something different".
I don't think that there is any question about him being able to benefit from professional help, but I also think that a snowball has a better chance in Tucson. The last thing a control freak is going to want to do is to give someone else control of his mind! (His view, not reality.) And there is no way that you can suggest it.
Keep having fun with the kids, but see if you can throw in a little having fun for yourself. It will be good for you, and it will be another step towards detachment.
