Looking for some ideas/insight - please help.

[blindsided1]

Sorry. I just now read your post. I don't know if you can relate to my sitch. My H left when I was 6 weeks prego with our first child. He moved in with OW right away after only knowing her for a few weeks. He pretty much abandoned me, did everything he could to hurt me, rubbed their R in my face...all while I was pregnant and it was a risky pregnancy to boot. About the time I was giving birth to our daughter, OW got pregnant. I'm sure it was on purpose. She has two other children by a man who would not marry her. I think she got pregnant because she was afraid he would come back to me. I think he would have. But, now they have their family and he has another child to play with like a toy. He pays no CS, sees her once a week and has no contact with us in between. I have not been able to come to terms with the new baby. I know it is not his fault. I am glad that my daughter DOES have a sibling, but it should have been a full sibling and not some kid her dad had with his mistress. But, what's done is done.

I have been able to talk myself into believing that the best thing for me, is to not have H back. I don't think I would ever trust him to be faithful when he went to pick up his son. I know he hasn't been faithful to OW. I know because he was with me in the beginning and still tries to initiate sex. He even tried the night before he flew back to Utah, to go pick her up because she was bleeding and afraid they would lose the baby. His brother has expressed that he didn't think it would have bothered H is they had lost the baby. I honestly don't think my H thought he could get her pregnant. We had a very hard time.

I digress...you have to assess where you are in all this, mentally. You have to be really strong and put up with a lot of sh!t and jealousy and mistrust, if you decide to work on your R. Only you can decide whether it is worth it or not.

I'll keep an eye on you and your sitch. I wish you the best of luck and if you have any questions for me, feel free to come and post on my thread.

This woman will be in your life no matter what you do, whether you take him back or not, she will be part of your life. You just have to decide what part of your life your H is going to be in.

Good luck