I don't think there's anything wrong with insisting upon sincere contrition, and a limited list of pre-conditions ("dealbreakers") to accompany any return by her to the marriage.
Just make sure your motives are pure, and your heart is able to forgive if she does, in fact, make a sincere effort. Transparency, I believe, along with a good psych eval, will help you bridge the gap between phony, last-ditch crocodile tears and a genuine desire to come back and work on the marriage.
