How do I get thru this?

[dmkdmkdmk]

I posted this on the other thread where you said you were having trouble coming up with a plan, I wanted to RP it here incase you didn't go back to check...

The first day after H told me he wanted to separate (a week ago today), I had trouble really coming up with a plan. I figured we were going to be in limbo until we (he) decided one way or the other. I was scared. I talked to him about everything that was on MY mind all day, and he listened... But I vented to some friends over email and he found it the next day and got mad at me

Anyways, starting that afternoon I put my own plan into action. Everything I was doing in regards to how I reacted to and treated H, I stopped.
-No more checking his phone records or bank account
-No more calling him throughout the day, unless he called me first
-No more forcing physical affection
-No more forcing conversation about our relationship
-No hysterics - I cried a little on Monday, but I haven't cried since then.

I just started putting that energy back into me.
-Buying myself cute clothes to wear when I go out with my friends. Even cute underwear even though nobody's going to see it
-Getting my hair cut and colored
-Doing my nails
-Making plans with my friends
-Filling up my calendar, keeping busy in general
-Having fun with my DD instead of focusing so much on getting everything clean and keeping up around the house.

It's all been one day at a time, and some other questions I ask myself before acting/reacting are:

What do I have to gain by doing XXX?
What do I have to lose by doing XXX?