Forgive AND forget?

[Silver Fox]

I still read your thread WCW! Sorry for not posting much.
I've got alot going on too and not too may posters on my thread either.

Kudos on the wave. I wish I could wave to H's OW - only I think one of my fingers would have to stick out more than the others.

[amd]

I wish I could wave to H's OW - only I think one of my fingers would have to stick out more than the others.

I was thinking the same thing, SF!!! Love that wave, WCW. Love the attitude you have right now. Keep counting those babysteps--but don't forget to count the ones you take too!

[Phoenix_spark]

I agree, changes are made on both sides. Look at how you are both changing.

[WCW]

I have an issue I could use help with please.
Background - I have a full time career/job in town, and at home run a ranch/farm/livestock/merchandise/service business along with repair and maintanance on buildings, home, fences, barns, arenas, equipment, etc. H doesn't help too much and has his own business's that can keep him hopping.

I have people that help me out, some I outright pay and some I trade my help with their horses for them to help me with things.

My irritation is that people don't respect my time and my schedule. I usually let people tell me when they can come for help or to work, but when a time or day is set up I set that time aside for them and expect it to happen.

Last night I had -
one guy scheduled for fence work in the afteroon/early evening
one guy scheduled for spraying weeds afternoon/evening
one girl/father for lessons at 4pm
one lady for lessons at 6pm
one lady for lessons at 7pm

Except for 2, the rest canceled. I get so irritated and so very frustrated! I set aside MY time for THEM, and then I get stood up. Not only is it my time, but the work doesn't get done either. I have to reschedule the work and lessons and acommodate everyone time and time again.

How can I tactfully but politely tell folks how screwed I feel when they do this? Last night was just one example, but it happens at least weekly.
Do I have a 'no show' fee if they cancel?
Do I just say please respect my schedule and don't let it happen again?
Do I say screw you don't come back?

This frustration flows over into my attitude about the rest of my life too.

[Flicka]

Hey Cowgirl, I do not know what format you use for collecting pay for lessons, but I am assuming there are liability issues that are waived with some sort of a signed contract. Perhaps the price structure could include a lessons cancelled clause with amnesty for one, but pay for any others without two day notice... That would be fair and not unusual.

It is no good fuming. Some of your agreements are barter, but you are so creative, you could probably figure out ways to shame these other slackers into keeping their obligations. You do not have to be home or around for weed spraying, right?

Phoenix is missing you. He has even visited the lonely and pathetic hopefulness site looking for you. Take pity on him. He can calm you down!!

[Phoenix_spark]

No prob. I don't come on here to solve my problems anymore, I come on here to help old friends. WCW, you know how to get word to me. Flicka, have a nice day.

[WCW]

No good fuming. lol

H is gone for a while. Minutes before he left he mentioned an idea he had for an improvement. Then he said if I was going to have anyone work on it he gave details how to do it. It is a great idea!
He also initiated a hug. woweee. First hug or almost any touch since April.

I have a full schedule as well as my own list of things of my own ideas to accomplish. In the old days when we were 'partners' I would put his ideas first and 'getrdone'. My limited time and resources now for projects only goes so far.

Now I'm wondering if I fall back into the trap of putting H and his ideas first, or add his projects to the list and do them in order, or let him detail and arrange his projects himself when he returns.

The real surprise here is that he shared an idea with me, he is doing that a little more often. Maybe just to pacify me and keep feeding me crumbs and using me while he keeps building his secret life. I just don't know and get very confused by my oscillating feelings.

[itsy]

Instate a no show policy this is how you make money and they need to respect your time and efforts. If they do not show charge them. People seem to think that if you work out of your home it's okay to show up late bring extra kids or no show at all. But you cannot make up that time or money ..it is very frustating in my business when I have a no show I don't make any money I am a hairdresser in a salon and I would gladley institued a no show policy. You cannot make up that time alloted for them and it is just plain rude for not respecting you. I let my clients know I DO NOT appreciate no shows. It's money and time out of my pocket. Set up a no show policy..
ITSY

[WCW]

Thanks itsy. I will be posting a no show policy soon. The harder part will be enforcing it!

A little break from the old routine while H was gone was good for me. Maybe for H too, we actually had a hug when he arrived home and I jabbered on and on to fill him in on things he should know about. So I changed the homecoming routine too, and it seemed better than what it's been.

Feeling pretty frazzled about some things and pretty happy about other things. GAL is still extreme, takes my mind off the junk sometimes.

[kat727]

When someone calls to make an appointment tell them you need their credit card information or x amount deposit. If they don't show the card get gets charged x amount or you get to retain the deposit. If they show no problem, apply the deposit towards their appointment.

Shaking things up and doing things even a tad bit different sounds good. keep it up.

kat