Divorce looming #14

[25yearsmlc]

PS Kev

You're lying to yourself. You were "unhappy" all your life? " (so every Christmas and your whole childhood sucked? You insult your parents with that...) Then you were happy when you "met her" b/c " she completed" you. Inexplicably, during the M, you "didn't appreciate her enough". then she wanted a divorce and now you are unhappy again..come on kev. "Never happy without her", and then happy with her in the M, but then....you "got complacent & didn't appreciate her enough...."

If that were true, why'd you self medicate with alcohol? Remember the drinking and fighting? She said you were a "functional alchoholic" and she was miserable in the M? Recall the well paying job you turned down and fobbed onto her, while you kept drinking...you ignored what she said she wanted from you until OM came into the picture and you chose to mishandle that info. HEY, I'm not rubbing it in your face to hurt you, but to say "get real." That is what happened when you were married. Does this all Sound like what a happy, or healthy man would do?

Your behavior has NOT been healthy behavior for YEARS, B/C IT'S called DEPRESSION, which is a medical condition that requires treatment. So far, You've self treated with alcohol, and your w, and MAYBE now this site, (??) as a crutch to SELF MEDICATE for your depression. The problem is not fixable with words here. You have to fix it with Professional help. Now.

**(Let me save you loads of time...NO KEVIN, YOU DON'T CONTACT YOUR W - at all - UNLESS, AND ONLY IF IT HAS TO DO WITH THE KIDS. NO EXCEPTIONS AND NO EXCUSES. VERY SIMPLE. Someone here will tell you when you are well enough to do or say more.
If there's the slightest chance for a reconciliation it will be by you getting help and backing off big time now. But don't count on her coming back. Plan a happy life without her and get the help to know how to do that.
WE KNOW you find it easier to focus on getting your W back, rather than addressing the real problem. It's much harder to bravely look within and ask, "Why am I not enough? What can I do to make my life a good one?" But you have to do it, Kev. And you need professional help to do this and that's reality Kevin. I'm sorry it terrifies you. WE all deal with reality every day even when it's VERY HARD OR VERY terrifying. And that is that.[/u] It's life. There are NO guarantees except those we create ourselves.

I guarantee that no matter what my h does, I will be alright for all the reasons I posted earlier. [color:#000099]That's b/c I am in charge of my happiness. And you are in charge of your misery Kevin. I'm done enabling you to stay stuck. You know how to Find me so when you change something in your life & I'll root for you big time. Til then, good luck.
j-