Jeezus woman, you're hard on yourself. We all have our reasons for not doing x or y. If you could stomach going through my threads you'd see a few 2x4s cuz I had so many reasons I can't get a job etc.
I'm just trying to encourage you. Again, if you derive pleasure or gratification out of something, don't over-think (LOL, coming from me) or wait for $$, just do it.
I'm going to make a sort of lame art project with my kids...whateva, right?
MIL guilts H, that's their whole R and may be the biggest reasons he can't differentiate love and obligation...
I think H assumed I'd pick him up. I can't remember but I don't think it is good. He was gone for almost a month...crazy. But, he's "bringing the kids legos so they'll be happy."
Oh ya, I'm so sure of myself. LOL. I was just lifting weights and thinking "come on motherf*cker," get it together and get your a** home." But, I better be ready for ANYTHING. He has been completely detached from reality and likes it that way. We've got so much sh*t to deal with. This is sooo precarious. Honestly, it could go either way but something I think Sandi said was that the WAS doesn't really want to fix their own problems because then they'd have to stop doing what they're doing. It really resonated. I mean H knows what his issues are and if he dealt with them (his mom for example), he wouldn't have an excuse to run away and act like an a**.
Anyway, I can't believe how calm I am. I'm going to get on my knees and pray that I can keep it together.
