From what I can tell, you're handling things well. You are trying to find the same balance as me. How much to give your spouse to stay connected, but yet keep your boundaries and force them to endure what they've brought upon themselves. Tough line to walk, especially when you so want to be with them.
Thanks Future. Sometimes I am not so sure how well I am handling it and then I look back to before I had DR and these boards for referral. It was BAD HANDLING at it's finest, so relatively speaking I am doing WELL! I find it really hard to have this balance when I go dark on H. I feel like he is getting what he wanted and that bugs me a bit! But, I do know that I cannot persue him right now. I wonder...how do you know when it is the right time to initiate a little bit of contact?
Since you got married so young, I think your H thinks he missed out on some great single life. As others have said here, he will likely eventually find out it's not so great, not compared to having a loving W and family. This will take time. Do what is right for YOU in the mean time. Although the pain and lonliness can be brutal, do try to use your time alone to do things you didn't have a chance to do before, and have fun. In my thread, you said I'm doing a fabulous job working on myself, which I appreciate. I have the advantage that I lived alone for ten years before I got married, so I knew how to live a single life. You got married and had kids so young, this being alone thing is new to you. Try to embrace it. Not only will it help your mood, your H will notice, and may start to worry that you're liking it a little TOO much! This is SO true. I have often wondered with all of this analyzing I have been doing, if this is the only and yet very simple explanation for all of this. And if it is true, then whether this is a good thing or not. Maybe you are right and he will realize it and he will get it out of his system. But is that OK? Really? Just because we married young, to feel the need to see what it is like on the other side? I mean I really don't know the answer to that. In that case though you are right, I would be remiss if I didn't embrace it too just incase he DOES come back! Lol. That seems funny to me for some reason! If only I had that crystal ball.....! I might just even go on a date to see what that was like!!!!!!
