Rather than repeat myself again, I'll repost a shortened version of what I have said 56 times here.
Originally Posted By: 25yearsmlc
Kev,
IF, and I repeat, IF, (b/c I think you revise history a lot) if you were truly unhappy before you met your w, during the M and are again now unhappy, you are a chronically depressed person. It's a medical and psychological condition that may have spiritual dimensions to it, depending on your viewpoint.
But it is a sickness, By definition. Nothing we post here will change that. You make the same mistakes over and over so it's clear that MY advice does not help b/c you ignore it. You "wondered" about inviting your wife last week to dinner/dominoes (??). We hammered the point that you cannot invite/pursue/pressure her and you backed off...for a day...! Then she told you that she does not like you now, thinks you won't give people space AND that you need to work on that. So...you invited her to dinner! Amazing. (and you THINK maybe the Div filing deadline being missed is a sign that she wants back in? Really?)
It's a waste of my time to post to you while you are not fixing the underlying problem ---which is your inability to be happy as a person. Period.
You think if you "work on you", that means "until w comes back" & you'll lose weight and do "filler activities" until her return. That's not GAL. Kev, you need more help than we can provide. If we could do it, by NOW with ALL this advice and time spent on you, you would not ask us "how to get my w back quickly". That question is almost a slap in the face after the times we've spent here telling you that this is not about getting her back. And no you are not "special" b/c you are so dependent on her. You are just needier and choosing to stay that way. NO I don't sense a mature type of love from you for her. I really don't. Your words, and the way you acted WHILE you were married to her and the way you are acting now WITH her, all I sense is desparate need. That's why I say you don't bring much to the table other than your needs.
I have loved my h since I was 19 y/o and we'll have our 28th anniversary next month. If he were to die, OR LEAVE ME, and we were to have another "episode", I would mourn his death or his choice, but I would eventually recover and be happy.
How can I say that? How could I possibly go on and be happy again? B/C I am a smart, fun, attractive and happy woman with a lot to give to this world and MAYBE to another man down the road. I have interests that have nothing to do with my h. A lot of them. Bungee jumping, theater, comedy, pottery, shooting, writing, etc. ALL of those interests are enjoyable and will exist with or without my h.
I believe that if God does not see my M as continuing for 4+ more decades, then he must have something else cool for me to find around the corner. I have my faith. [/u] ANYTHING HERE AT ALL THAT RESONATES WITH YOU?????
My pain would not be eternal and it would not be fatal. For some reason, you have chosen to stay miserable , letting your pain be eternal AND apparently fatal, emotionally speaking....or as CG so wisely implied, "you wish to remain blind" and won't get the glasses to see.
Get help Kevin. No more excuses. If you won't get help than even if your w did come back to you, she'd only leave you again b/c the fundamental problem and common theme here is that you are too needy b/c you don't know how to be happy. That is life's most basic skill. Get it now. GET THAT SKILL.
Good luck, J-
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
