Feeling Like A Victim Tonight....

[eternaloptimist]

I'm feeling so very sad tonight. We had a rough weekend with little arguments every day, stress, problems communicating, but I stayed strong and didn't let him pull me into fights. He called us "oil and water" and doesn't make much effort to communicate effectively. He just labels everything so negatively. I'm pretty sure he's having a MLC and is depressed. He'll never admit it. The only positive that would come out of a divorce is that "MAYBE" he'll be happy. Everything else will be so painful.

He's just done making any effort. Too much work for him, he's exhausted. Trying to "keep the peace" so H can make his decision in the next two weeks. I've been in Limbo Land for months now. H has to make a decision by mid-June b/k of our son's school situation. It has been extremely stressful b/c I only found out the details of his affair last week.

MIL emailed my H and said "When you kids separate..." as if he already made the decision. It hurts so bad b/c it seemed like he already told them he wants a divorce. H says, well, I haven't decided yet and may decide to work on things.

H falls asleep on the couch every night. He's so emotionally distant and has those huge walls up. The anguish/anxiety/fear/panic seem to be taking me over more each day.

I love my H so much. I'm glad that he's in the house, still says he loves me, kisses me at the door, seems to care about me and shows me consideration.

But I still feel like a victim in all of this.