I've tried to tell him that... that if he wanted to get the feeling back, he just needed to decide to be loving.

When I've told him that, I wasn't telling him that in the most selfless way possible though.

On the same track, I haven't been "feeling" happy for a long time either. But for me, I needed to decide to actually be happy, and to do things for myself - I was turning into a typical martyr wife where everything I did was for my H and DD and I was miserable because nobody did the same for me. How can anyone be happy being married to someone like that and feel loving towards them?

Me - 30, H - 32
T - 10, M - 6, D - 1
DD#1 - 4, DD#2 - 2
on/off OW 4/09 - sometime Summer 2010 (Told me about OW 4/10)
Separated 6/11/09, divorced 8/4/10, trying again 9/2011