Does she wonder "What's up with this guy? Doesn't he have any self respect? Why doesn't he hate me? He should hate me. Anyone with self respect would hate me." What am I saying about myself that I am continuing to extend myself to her, and offer her my company, my humor, my conversation, my desire?
It all goes back to our human nature. It is naturally more "fun" with the teasing, etc., when not married. For one thing, when we are in a MR, then we know that we can always go to bed and it is all legal....LOL. Some people say that takes all the fun out of a R. I don't know, but I do think that being single and the dating/flirting stuff appeals to a lot of women. I think your W is probably one of those women who likes what does not come so easily. One reason she is enticed with the OM from the past is that she knows it should be "hands-off" and she wonders what "could have been", etc. When both of you were in the bar flirting, etc., it was fun and she found you attractive. She probably knew that nothing would be done about it right then (like having sex) and even if it was, she would still have the "unmarried" feelings tied to it. May not make much sense to men in how women think along these lines....and it's even hard for me to explain.
Being attracted to each other is a good sign that this stitch can be turned around. Taking it slowly is the right way to go. As far as her wondering about your self-respect, she isn't really thinking in terms like that.
Talk to you later, Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
