Just checking in to see how the GAL is going. I know it can be very difficult in the early days. All one wants is to save the marriage and it really feels like focusing all of one's energy into that goal is the right thing to do. It feels as though you are the only one carrying the marriage and if you look away, even for a second, all will be lost. That makes it so difficult to shift the focus to oneself because it feels like you will lose.
I have been where you are and I do understand your feelings. As contrary as it may seem, the only way to save your marriage is to find and save yourself, first. Reconnect with yourself, learn to celebrate all the wonderful things that make you so special. Learn to meet your needs, all of them. My C once told me humans have three needs: water, food and shelter and that everything else is a desire. I had to learn to stop confusing needs with desires. I still need reminding and that's okay. After you meet your needs, go about fulfilling your desires - those that are within your control.
My point is this: you are too close, understandably, to see that shifting your focus to yourself and working on making yourself as happy and whole as you can be, is the best way to hopefully reconnect with your H.
I will keep checking on you. Just keep doing things, GAL things, however small and set small, attainable goals to shift your focus away from H and back to you - try 10 minute increments and see if that helps.
