AND...I have got to get past the snooping until this recent turn comes to a head, although this last one finds me almost indifferent to the whole mess...after the initial thump of my heart and empty feeling in my gut...I chuckled just a little to myself.
On one hand I wish I was not able to check her email..her fault..when I set everything back up after a computer problem I made the password, gave it to her and told her next time you are on let me know and I will show you how to put your own in. That was months ago.
On the other hand, I figure WTF?...at this point any info I can gather may help me make my decision in the long run.
If she is not going to open and truthful with me, then why keep putting myself through this.
Text boy sent her a message this afternoon...short and sweet with an "I love you" at the end. Apparently he is having trouble with his phone.
Mr. erotic story guy is wondering where she has been the past couple of weeks....poor guy. She didn't tell him she was going on vacation.
Depending on the exact time they arrive tomorrow, I am going to try to be gone for work before they get here.
I'm thinking that I really need to just let this go for a while and see how she is. Like I said earlier...have to make it all me now...no more laying down, telling her I will leave when the time comes.
If we talk tomorrow or next week, what difference will it make? I just need to stay focused, not say anything stupid and make it worse and wait for an good time to get it all out.
This was never something I thought I would have to deal with after working at this for so long, but now that it's happening, it's time to back up, step out of it and get my act together...physically, emotionally and financially...prepare for the worst, because I didn't do that this past year.
