It is a tough thing to imagine. Just keep focused in the present, document what you can. With his hx more than likely it will be supervised visits for a long time. Judges don't seem to mind giving visitation to wayward parents, but most of the time they are smart about it. And a different way to think about it, one that a neighbor and I shared when our kids were young because we didn't trust our H - is that they are the other parent, for better or worse. We don't get to control everything. And if you are a praying person - that works too. Enjoy the dinner and company!
