Hi Hopeful, Yeah, I like your perspective....there is a lot. I think I am getting really worried. I don't really know what is going on with him or why he decided to file for D before even talking with me. I feel as if I must be unapproachable for him. It is a surprising and scary revelation.
I think I am doing well without him actually. But the more time that goes by, the more I cannot imagine him staying. It feels bad.
But, I really need to focus on those initial lessons....and the first lesson for me was that I cannot control his thoughts/behaviors/actions. It is still humbling to think about that. I cannot imagine doing this to him and so.....it is difficult to maintain pleasantries without getting to the heart of the matter.
I need to make small goals for just tonight. Its almost 5 pm. I am trying to stay up until 9pm and then get a full night's sleep today. I will have to get better at taking care of myself. My apartment has a huge garden tub....maybe I will take a bath tomorrow.
Thanks for the positivity hopeful! I am going to spend the rest f the night doing things I like and either calling a friend or journalling here when I get the urge to call. I feel panic today. It felt like he had decided already that this is final. He did not say that but I FELT that way after our conversation. I keep putting this feeling on Repeat in my head. AHHH!
I need to get rid of it! Ok. I am going to just surf the internet and call my sister! Time to move on with my day!
I am actually looking forward to sleep tonight! HA!HA!
