Why not?

[AJM]

I am a decent, honest, loving woman. I don't need to rake myself over the coals anymore. I have my "things" I'm working on.

Of course you are. Interesting when you get to the point of not allowing yourself to walk on eggshells anymore. Real change begins to happen. It's scary. It's painful. It's how growth happens. He won't know what hit him, so be aware you'll see some changing behavior from him following your changes. That's not a bad thing either.
Make your changes for you. You can control you. You cannot control him.

Oh, and open yourself up for the compliments a little. I know you want more, but that was a great compliment. For him to make it, was likely meaning more than you gave you credit for. He was looking for a way to compliment you and acknowledging his own lack of parenting while acknowledging his own lack of being there(i.e. how he can't raise the kids without you.)
Kudos to you for not reading his mind. Very good. That's why I did it for you.

You are growing. You are making some really great changes to yourself. Keep it up. Be consistent. Be patient. Remember what a great person you are and remember that you still need time to figure out what it is YOU want. You are still forming those things. You're a woman now, act like it

I still haven't forgotten that sushi. If your husband can't make it, I assume you still can?

AJ