Don't Let Them Eat Cake

[In Limbo]

Concerned,

How am I about setting boundaries? Mmmmmm.......honestly it's one of the things I stink at the most. Not just now, but always, especially with H. I've always done too much for him, accommodated too much, let him make all the choices, took on responsibility for his stuff, etc, etc. I find it even harder now to set boundaries because I'm not sure what they should be, how to discuss them w/o discussing R, etc. Also, a lot of the boundaries I want to set are actually things I could never enforce (like don't communicate with OW when you're with me). Or they are boundaries that really are more about me not detaching (like tell me if you will be home later than normal so I don't worry). So I need to reflect some more on this. I've been struggling with this alot over the past few months. What types of boundaries have you been able to successfully enforce in your sitch?

I'm not caught up on your sitch, so I'll have to pop over and check it out. It's both depressing and comforting to read how many people are living through this craziness.

H took the boys to a movie this afternoon and asked me along. Just as the movie was about to start, he suddenly had to get up to "go to the restroom" and was gone a bit longer than usual. I've suspected that when he is with me these days, he often uses the RR as a time to go text OW (his EA). Yep, that's what he did today at the movie. Then we come home, walk in the house and out of the blue he grabs me and hugs me like crazy. I just don't get this! That's the kind of thing that drives me bonkers. But if I pushed him away when he did that and cut off all physical contact, wouldn't that be bad too? I know, I need to get rid of my fear and detach. Every time I think I am, he sucks me back in. Or I guess actually I allow myself to be sucked back in. Oy! Sometimes I feel like I'm so strong except when it comes to letting go.

Thanks for posting - it's comforting to know you're out there too!