Trying to stay strong

[hopeful_cb]

Thanks Kara for the response, sometimes it feels like how can I not know what to say to someone I spent the last 8+ years with!? I guess some of it is fear. And one of the goals I made for myself on the previous page was to stop acting out of fear. So I will take that forward. I feel like I can do this.

I liked what you said about starting at the beginning and the other tips...'chill a little...I am cool, I am confident, I have it together.' That is a good point, I feel like I am most of these things now, well or am almost there, the test will be staying that way in H's presence. I think I can do it.

I guess the next step is getting prepared for it. I need to think about where to meet and if H coming to the house is the best idea or if we should pick somewhere more 'neutral.'

I was also thinking I need to think about what I want to say, but I like your point about not having set responses to set questions. In general I know what I will and wont stand for and just need to make sure I speak up and stick up for myself in these situations. I know there will probably be some financial talk, and I feel sure I know where I stand on this and what decisions I have made, so just need to get the discussion out of the way.

And if he brings up the whole text message mix up last week I will just let it roll off my back, bc I am over it in most every way. If anything it makes me a little angry that he thought he could even comment on how I should be handling the situation. I guess that he responded in anger was him showing at least some kind of emotion, rather than indifference.

I think it will help me if I set some goals for my meeting w H, it seems to keep me focused.
1. No arguing
2. No R talk
3. No OW talk
4. No pressure?
5. Be confident and upbeat
6. Look great
7. Stay calm, but don't be a push over, set boundaries if needed.

I will keep thinking on this...