Don't know if can help much, but I spent some time reading up on your situation. Wow, 16 pages in three weeks! You're putting my thread to shame!
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I know this is all about H. I just can't help but thinking that if he loved me enough (which he hasn't told me in 2 months) he couldn't do this. So in a sense, it IS me. I mean, he doesn't wanna be married...and it is ME who he is married to. Maybe I am having a pity party, but SHEEEEEEEEESH! I don't understand why this happens to some people and not others. Yes....WHY ME??? I am fairly certain this is one situation where as long as I continue to take care of myself, an occasional pity party for 1 is appropriate! I wish I was more compassionate to others going thru this before. I could have never imagined this much pain.
I agree. Sometimes I wonder why this is happening to me too. And the level of pain is more than I ever imagined. The fact that we endure this and continue to go on is a testimony to our strength.
From what I can tell, you're handling things well. You are trying to find the same balance as me. How much to give your spouse to stay connected, but yet keep your boundaries and force them to endure what they've brought upon themselves. Tough line to walk, especially when you so want to be with them.
Since you got married so young, I think your H thinks he missed out on some great single life. As others have said here, he will likely eventually find out it's not so great, not compared to having a loving W and family. This will take time. Do what is right for YOU in the mean time. Although the pain and lonliness can be brutal, do try to use your time alone to do things you didn't have a chance to do before, and have fun. In my thread, you said I'm doing a fabulous job working on myself, which I appreciate. I have the advantage that I lived alone for ten years before I got married, so I knew how to live a single life. You got married and had kids so young, this being alone thing is new to you. Try to embrace it. Not only will it help your mood, your H will notice, and may start to worry that you're liking it a little TOO much!
