Hi Snodderly. Thanks for the insite as to what is happening. I had thought too that maybe he was entering the "withdrawal" stage but was not sure and his actions were confusing me alot. I try and just accept what is going on and I really do not expect much from him. I just forget where he is and my mind goes into normal thinking as how he is acting so that throws me. You are so right about me being the only one that can decide what to do and that is where I have fights within myself as to that question. On one hand, I "think" I still love him, but so much time has gone by," it will be 4 yrs in Nov that he moved out and at least 4 yrs before that he started acting not himself" that there aren't the same feelings when I see him or talk to him. I remember the good times and also I have remembered alot of things that I guess that I had just pushed down in my memory over the years that has happened because I guess, well he is my husband, and you over look alot of things for that reason. So I question myself daily, hem I guess even hourly if I want this or not if he were to decide to come back. The forgiving I have and will continue to do but not sure if I want to put myself in a spot to have the same things happen again. I want someone to share things with, not someone to make things harder.Don't want to have to answer to someone if I decide not to clean the house for a day or so as I am doing other things or what ever else it might be that I don't get around to doing. I guess that you get the picture. But on the other hand, will he become the person that I would like in my life? So I struggle.I know that it is not our time line but Gods, but the years are going by so fast anymore and I am tired of being alone. So many things I want to do and see and want someone to be there to do them with me. Can this go on for another couple of years, or months I don't know, I only know that he had a rough early life so will he even be able to come out of it at all. Sorry to ramble but I have not put my thoughts down in a long time. The one thing that has given me hope that he is getting close to the end is that every call now, one of the first things that he asks is what the kids are doing and wants to know in detail. This is something that he has just started in the last month and he is talking to his sisters more. Once again thanks for all the help that you give. Sonni
