Sorry you are having a hard time. You saw that I am too. Had a brief convo this morning since posting. He wants me to not make a big deal out of yesterday, thinks that we can do what we want and AA advise doesn't have to dictate our R. Then he read the chapter in the big book to the wives. Basically saying, hang in there and let him get sober and learn how to live life - and don't rock the boat. Be strong and carry the burdens until he can help.
I didn't take it so well, I told him I am tired of having to manage everything at home - him after a day at work where I am taking care of everyone there. It's too much for me. He's almost 60 years old - he should be doing a lot more than he is with or without an illness. I have major disabilities myself and I still have to take care of things - its hard for me and I do suffer everyday with fatigue and pain but I do it.
So, I don't have any answers that seem to help - just comiserating. I assume our task is to take care of ourselves and our own lives, whatever form that takes. Be kind, loving and good to yourself just as you would want from a husband. I think once we are able to detach from the hard stuff, we will be find life to be better than we think.
