W's attorney has "canceled" the deposition so now begins anew the motion to compel attendance at deposition. You see where this is going?
D1 was doing well this morning... she seemed tired. I poked my head in the door and said "Hello there!" and she looked at the daycare worker who said "That wasn't me." Then I called her name and she turned her head and started smiling. She got up and walked to the door and tried opening it, then reached up to me to pick her up. She laid her head on my shoulder and said "daaaa daaaa" really slow. I held her for 10-15 minutes and then sat her down, she started crying and I picked her up again and she stopped. So I held her another five minutes, then eventually had to hand her to the daycare worker. She looked ready for a power nap.
"You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into."
W's attorney has "canceled" the deposition so now begins anew the motion to compel attendance at deposition. You see where this is going?
How is this possible? I can understand a MOTION to cancel, or a PETITION to cancel, but how can one side of a legal action -- ESPECIALLY the side being told to show up -- just unilaterally cancel?????
How is this possible? I can understand a MOTION to cancel, or a PETITION to cancel, but how can one side of a legal action -- ESPECIALLY the side being told to show up -- just unilaterally cancel?????
Legally she isn't supposed to. My guess? W is no longer cooperating with her attorney and her attorney is attempting damage control as much as possible.
This is virtually ignoring a subpoena under my state's rules of civil procedure. The only acceptable reasons are a major health crisis or being called to testify in our state supreme court at the same time.
We will file a motion to compel attendance at the next date along with sanctions/request for attorney fees/etc.
I suppose this looks better than just not showing up that day.
"You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into."
Spoke to my lawyer, he said he spoke with her attorney and the usual "scheduling conflict" argument was made, and he gave them three dates to choose from and we'll file a motion to compel attendance if they don't show for the next one.
He said they would get us the requested discovery information "soon" and that W's attorney is contemplating setting up deposition on me whatever day W gets scheduled for next.
He did say he was going to incorporate most, if not all of the questions I had listed for the deposition. Ran some other issues by him and got his advice on it.
Wait and see time...
"You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into."
So I had a few events happen last week that all seem independent but it also seems strange they all occur during the same period. If anyone has any thoughts let me know...
1. On Wednesday afternoon I found my weights I had let OM borrow stacked neatly in front of my garage upon returning home. 2. On Wednesday I received the bill for $500+ for a visit where D1 got shots because W had let her insurance lapse. 3. On Wednesday W seemed very talkative via text message and also asked about renewing insurance. 4. On Thursday I was given a letter by my kid's daycare that said "since reconciliation doesn't seem likely" that I would need to start paying the full amount starting Monday... not much notice. $185 per week. 5. On Thursday W's attorney 'canceled' W's appearance at the deposition due to a "scheduling conflict." 6. On Friday OM's father came by my house knocking on the door and acted friendly saying he had "noticed" my weights lying around and thought "I don't need these, I'll give them back to H so he can work out." I laughed and said thanks, and he went home. 7. OM was home Saturday, and usually this is when he and W hook up and do something... his car never left the entire day, and she never went by there. 8. I gave W a lawyered up letter discussing my concerns she had let D1's insurance lapse, offering to help her obtain new insurance, and paying half ($250+) of the bill. She called me 30 minutes after I left from picking up D1 (she never calls me) and pleaded and explained her position saying "I don't want you to think I'm not getting her insured." I asked how long her new insurance was going to take and she said "5-6 weeks" and I told her that wouldn't cut it if she got sick or something happened soon - that she needed to get something temporarily and I'd pay half.
W/MIL acted nice during both pickup and delivery of D1. Nothing was said, and I keep those things short and to the point anyway while the legal stuff is ongoing.
So... that is a lot of little things to happen at once, and I sense W's lawyer's hand in some of it. I imagine the niceness from OM's family and the lack of W going over there might be due to the fact they've gotten notice that I'm calling them all as witnesses. I imagine the charging me full price for daycare is an attempt to bleed me of necessary funds for the upcoming "battle" and I'm sure W's attorney is hoping to score a trial date push back.
Of course I've got my own counter moves, moving S7/S8 off the chess board by sending them to stay with relatives temporarily. This will prevent the $185 per week cost plus keep W/MIL from using them as pawns by attempting to butter me up by acting nice to them. Nothing changes in terms of my strategy, and if this is their attempt to "force" a reconciliation by showing me how expensive it will be without W I don't think I'll play that game.
No reconciliation without W taking ownership of her problems. They haven't said anything, but I would imagine my 'strategy' would be to get at least a temporary reconciliation so the fault grounds go away and they can balance the terms of a future engagement.
So anyway... on to the story of Saturday:
Pickup of D1 went fine. W/MIL didn't say too much. W was holding D1 and I reached out my arms, D1 hesitated for a second, then grinned and said "DA DA!" and then lunged out to me. W/MIL did the whole "hug" routine with S7/S8.
We went to the mall, swapped 'gamer tags' with a girl who works at the game store, then we went to the park. They had a great time there, S7/S8 threw the football with another family and D1 explored all over the place. We went to the grocery store, then picked up snacks for D1, and then came home. She spent the remainder of her time eating, exploring the house (including her room), and playing with toys. She didn't want to take a nap.
During the delivery, D1 was happy to see W. She was standing between us, and I held out my arms and she walked to me. I gave her a hug/kiss bye and when W held her I waved bye and D1 said "bye" and waved her hand.
They left without incident... nothing being said, just pleasantries, etc.
"You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into."
I pulled S7/S8 out of the daycare for the summer to remove them from the chess board so they can't be used as pawns during custody swaps and as a means to bleed me financially.
My boss has authorized me to work from home permanently which will also do away with the costs during the school year. (If one door closes God opens another) Didn't even ask him for that - he just brought it up out of the blue this morning.
D1 was doing well this morning. She had her hair done up like Pebbles from Flintstones again. She was squealing at some of the other children in the room, and came up to me for me to hold her. S7/S8 got to play with her for a few minutes as well. She threw a ball back and forth and laughed each time they brought it back to her. It looked like she had a bruise on her noggin which is par for the course when babies are walking.
I text-messaged W to ask about if she has looked into getting her own insurance coverage. No response in over an hour. Something tells me she is not liking where reality is heading. She can't just ignore court now... which is exactly what it appears she is doing.
I really have no intention of a reconciliation at the point of a gun. She won't return to our M without wanting to feel like she is in control and did nothing wrong. That is unacceptable to me, especially given everything that has happened. I'm just suspecting she is going to try for it. I deserve better than that.
"You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into."
I really have no intention of a reconciliation at the point of a gun. She won't return to our M without wanting to feel like she is in control and did nothing wrong. That is unacceptable to me, especially given everything that has happened. I'm just suspecting she is going to try for it. I deserve better than that.
I agree with you, but I do think this is EXACTLY what she's going to propose, very soon. Likely on the eve of any deposition which looks like it's not going away.
btw, interesting-yet-useless piece of Flintstones trivia:
The same woman who gave voice to Wilma also did the voice for Pebbles.
Interesting thing... I'm actually working on a computer program which has modules codenamed after Flintstones characters...
Originally Posted By: Puppy Dog Tails
I agree with you, but I do think this is EXACTLY what she's going to propose, very soon. Likely on the eve of any deposition which looks like it's not going away.
Puppy
Is it wrong for me to have the "You made your bed, lie in it." mentality right now? The only reason she'd be coming back around is because the fantasy has collapsed and reality looks unappealing. I'm not going to be a revolving door, and I really think I'll never be in a position as strong as I am now.
I'm going to require her to undergo the psych eval and undergo whatever necessary treatment prior to considering reconciling. She also needs to admit to her A, as well as the full extent.
Part of me feels I should be happy if I am in a position where my M can be salvaged - I just also feel like there is no long-term reconciliation possible without her taking responsibility for her actions.
I guess that means I'm in a healthy position to make a better decision on it.
"You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into."
