John, Its not worth it to argue with her...so don't do it. You have nothing to win by this...all it will do is justify her actions to herself to rid the guilt. Just make sure you keep your notes up to date to document this event. Continue to gather your intel...two-fold purpose. Hopefully to end the affair but if needed to quietly gather what you need to come out ahead if this goes to court and she tries to take advantage of you. Take your time and think about what you want. Most of the time you seem to be reacting to her demands. If your plan is to continue to try saving your marriage think about talking to your CC and tell him what you know about the OM and you have pictures of his truck at W apartment. That is enough for a no contact order as it is inappropriate for an officer to visit an enlisted married womans apartment...negative order and discipline. Perhaps he could have a talk with the OM offline using his position to influence him. You never know... You still should consider talking to a lawyer (do not tell your wife) to get everything ready...I'm guessing she continues to pay the bills...you are lucky but I would verify...if you can try to get yourself out of debt. Very important....
