Trying to detach from the madness!

[Startingover2]

I am struggling again. Since I saw that text from the married woman I have backslid alot. My daughter also came home again and said that her car was at his house again. I don't want to tell my daughter not to say anything to me. She gets ticked off at it too and I try and react like its no big deal, but it cuts like a knife.

Exh has treated us like crap. He used us. He was mean and horrible. I stood by him when I shouldn't have. He was emotionally abusive and I took it for a long time becuase I loved him.

Yesterday's conversation sent me for a loop. How can he say I was a control freak? I bowed down to him all the time. I gave him chance after chance. His bootmark is still on my forehead.

I understand he is baby's father. He makes me sick and honestly I would rather he just went away. His little 30 minute visits do nothing but inflate his stupid ego. Then he has the nerve to say that I think he is a bad father and how it hurts his feelings. I never said that. He is projecting.

I am sick of being alone. I am sick of hurting. I am sick of the same old crap. This is so not what I thought my life would be like.